Please don't leave me!

Hearing: "The Red"; Chevell
Wearing: same
Feeling like: The threat is real

Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2003

I want to go now, I want it to be later. I want to go. Why can't it be later?

But what if I loose him? What if it all goes wrong? I'm not telling him. I'm not crazy. Am I? I'm not telling him. I'm not telling him. I'm not telling him. That would be suicide. How can something like this come up so quickly and be so fervant. How? Why does something like this come up so fast? Is it because I've been away from school and other boys and the only ones I see are the ones at church and him and Dawson? Is it because I'm crazy? Is it because I don't know what I'm going to do is this doesn't go away? I don't know what I'm going to do if this goes away. The red . . . it filters through. Make it go away. Somebody make it stop. Just make it go away. I don't want to feel like this. Make it stop. MAKE IT STOP!

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