Please don't leave me!

Saturday, Jun. 14, 2003

And I'm so tired I just want to cry. I was holding back tears all night and finally let it all out when I got in my car. I would have been home like ten minutes sooner if I didn't have to pull over so that I could cry. I've never had to do that. I hate people and I want to cry some more.

I was doing okay. I wasn't getting lost in these fantasies of perfect people, okay perfect guys. And I had a few, but not many more than normal. And I can't tell you how much, especially after a night like tonight I just want some one to hold me. I hate saying that because it's so stupid, but I just want someone to hug me while I cry and just make me feel better. And on top of everything else I still feel like such a loser. No friends to hang out with, but even if I had some one to hang out with I'd probably have to work. No boyfriend, even if I had one I'd never get to see him. I'm back to life sucking and me crying all the time. No one from school ever calls me, and I don't know what's going on with any of them, but even if they did call I'd be at work. So I'm just complaining to complain. I had a bad night so I'm going to whine and cry about it and tomorrow I'll be my normal energetic, overly optimistic self.

No e-mail from Nathan today. Dissapiointing, but who checks their e-mail on Saturdays? Losers like me! Ha! Dinner with him on Wednesday. Yea!!

Pity Party, don't read stopped here at 10:17 p.m.

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