mind the gap

Please don't leave me!

Hearing: Green tee (haha green tea!) black cashmere, and jeans
Wearing: About a Boy (still)
Feeling like: And wo, my nights are so long (blech Paul Simon!)

Friday, Nov. 12, 2004

TACO BELL!!!! Last night the girls and I drove up to Salida for Taco Bell. It was ten million times better than the last time I went up there. But then again, going to the dentist and having a root canal sans Novocain would have been more fun than that particular trip!

I am once again having a great day. I'm vindictively happy, if that's possible. I hate being happy that someone else is not at his or her optimal point, but it just came so easy! I hate it, but it's not that big of a deal to me anymore. I know that people have relished in the fact that I was doing shitty and felt good about the fact that they had an effect on the way I was doing and now I'm doing it. It's another one of those things that I swore I'd never do, but am doing anyway. I have way too many of those.

So Will's having a bit of a rough time and I told him that I was here if he needed someone to talk to. It's only fair seeing as how he spent all those nights listening to me cry! That and I really like listening to people talk about their stuff. Especially him, I don't know why, but I used to listen to him talk about how much he loved and missed Erica all the time and yeah, it hurt like you wouldn't believe to hear all those things when I was having such strong feelings for him, but I wanted to be there for him and I still do. But when I offered, he seemed really short. Of course it was text messaging so I don't know for sure, it just felt like I was being blown off.

I want to be there for all of my friends whenever they need anything. Most (if not all) of my friends have heard me tell them, “Four in the morning or whatever, give me a call!” I will come running, no matter whom it is! During the dark ages, if Nieve or Sara would have called me and said “Court, something’s wrong, I need you to come over!” Granted I would have thought it was an evil plot (ha ha), but just in case, I would have drove over and done whatever they needed. The same with Will, if he would have called me and needed something, no matter how mad I was at him, I would have come as quick as possible! I miss people talking to me. For a while there, I couldn’t handle it so I was glad for it, but now I want it back. I don’t need it. I’m to the point now where I don’t really need anything, (Well food, water. Shelter, the Gap and Steve Madden, you know, the usual) but I need my friends and my family, but other than that, I’m good!

Anyhow, it's TBTLR Weekend. I'll explain it all on Monday. But it's gonna RULE!! We're going to have our kind of girly movies, and alcohol! Like I said, it's gonna RULE!

On the upper up side, it's all cloudy and gloomy out! My favorite! It should snow!!!

Anyway, I have to go practice for a playing test!

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mind the gap