Please don't leave me!

Hearing: Green tee and black cashmere hoodie with kakhis
Wearing: Shopaholic Ties the Knot
Feeling like: I will go anywhere if you just lead the way

Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004

It hit me tonight that I've been feeling like I need his approval and him to like me as a person to be happy. Yeah, I would love for us to still be friends but if it's not in the cards there's nothing I can do about that. I don't need him, or any man, for that matter in my life to make me happy. Yes, I know I've said this a million times before but it was different with him. I loved him, and in some way I still do, but I don't need him anymore. I used to think I did, but now I'm pretty sure I don't. I still enjoy talking to him and hanging out with him when he's not treating me like I'm infected with the plague. (like I'm sure he will this weekend) The other night we were messing around and I was beating up on him because he'd done something, I don't remember what, but I ended up pushing him down on the couch, standing between his legs and tickling him. So he says "Hmm, I feel like we've been in this position before" or something to that effect and I said, "No dear, normally I was the one on their back" And he goes, "Oh I knew it felt familiar!" That's the kind of way I wish we could act all the time. But it's just not going to happen. I know one of these days he'll be reading along here and get offended about something and then I'll tell him to go back and read all the back entries where I've talked about all the sweet things between us.
Anyhow, Tomorrow night I've got a massive rehearsal for the concert Friday night and afterwards. We're decorating for the Halloween party to end all Halloween parties, come in a costume or come naked! Then we're going to Wal-Mart to get costume stuff. I have to get a sheet and some saftey pins and S needs to get some make-up for her costume. I have to find some cool fabric to go over my shoulder too. I am Hera, damnit, Queen of the gods and it's gonna rule! I can't wait.
Goodnight my friends. Untill next time.

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