Please don't leave me!

Monday, May. 13, 2002

So I'm supposed to be doing English homework, wait no let me rephrase, I'm supposed to be doing my English Final! But I'm not which means I will be up late doing it tomorrow, but I did three and a half hours of Algebra today and I am totally worn out!

I've been spending a lot of time thinking today and what if I go all through college and get my degree and my first job and the kids hate me? What if I'm a horrible teacher? What if I can't do it? what am I so full of self doubt??? Who knows!

Nichelle, my ex-best friend is trying to be friends with me again. . . by COMPLAINING! Doesn't she understand that that's why I stopped being friends with her? She was to depressing. I know that I am far from the most beautiful person on the planet but I don't parade the fact that I think that to everyone that I meet. I don't walk right up to the guy I like and say, "Do you think I'm pretty?" in a whiny five year old voice. You just don't do stuff like that. If I guy thinks you're pretty, he'll find a way to tell you.

I think the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me was that I was beautiful, actually I think he said "I think you're pretty damn fine" I've always wanted someone to ask me if I've ever been told that I'm wonderful/fantastic/amazing/beautiful/awesome just so I can smile flirtatiously at him and say "not today". I don't know.

God, I can't wait for college! I know I pot that in every other entry but I'm serious. Getting my schedule and the names of my roommates in the mail has got me all punped up.

Layne said the other day that I was still living in eighth grade. Am I?? I probably am. I feel so immature and young around her, and she's a year younger than me!!! That's why it's so strange.

Prom was Saturday night, I'm not feeling any regrets about not going! I feel fine! I could really care less. Sure, it would have been nice to go, but I rally had no reason to go.

I feel a facial coming on. Mmm mint masque. Sounds like a plan. Untill next time. . .

Feels like I'm falling all on my own stopped here at 7:33 p.m.

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