Please don't leave me!
Hearing:Wearing:
Feeling like:
Monday, Jan. 07, 2002
Angel,School really sucks. I just want to go home! I keep telling myself that I'll only be here for another five months. Five more months. That seems like such a long ways away!
Musical auditions are on Thursday. I need to go home and watch the movie, but I'm not going to have time to do it tonight. Maybe tomorrow, since I get out of school at 11:15 (YEA). I'm supposed to clean Shari's house but I can do that Wednesday night.
Bernie and Adam were driving me crazy this morning. Whispering and shit like that. It was so annoying. And of course I had that gut feeling that they werer talking about me! Because I'm so damned paranoid!
Oh and I've been here a little over two hours and so far there is nothing. Zip. Nada. Zilch. This is good. But then again, he hasn't talked to me much. I still think it's that wanting him to want me thing. I really don't thimk I ever really liked him that much.
This week's gonna be hell! Choir tonight, Music boosters tomorrow (I don't know why I go, Bern and I are supposed to be there b/c we're Pres and VP of Choir council but I'm the only one that ever goes!) Cleaning on Wednesday, Auditions and 4-H thursday and finally on Friday I can sleep. Plus I have to fit in Homework somewhere! Oh! I have to call Sara tomorrow too! It's her 19th birthday, I have to tease her about being old!
I wonder if Berna knows how much I wanted president. I wanted that more than anything! Almost as much as I want to be outstanding Senior, but we all know that won't happen. But Sara was telling me that she understands how hard it would be not getting it b/c I got promising freshman, and outstanding sophamore and junior. I guess I'm just not cut out for being the best. I'm not "destened for greatness". I wonder, sometimes how different it would be around here without me. Or would it be different at all. Or have I made any impact at all?
Always,
Courtney
"You stare at me like I'm a vitamin, on the surface you hate, but you know you need me!"
