Please don't leave me!
Hearing:Wearing:
Feeling like:
December 04, 2001
Dear Angel,Today was great . . .tonight wasn't so hot. I went to the booster meeting and everything was fine until techau mentioned Layne getting in to all state women's choir. I was fine, until then. I want to be able to blame it all on hime but I know I can't. It just makes me so mad, because those are the the best girls in the state and i want to be the best, I don't understand it! Everybody, and I mean everybody at schol, kept saying "You'll make it Courtney, you and Bernie ar the best singers in the school!" But did we, no. Bern hasn't even told her parents yet. but I just can't stand knowing that I wasn't good enough last year and I wasn't good enought this year. I keep telling myself that they'll sing stupid songs that I don't like and that I should be glad that I don't want to sing them, but there's a little voice bach there saying "You know you want it" And i wasn't going to try out but Techau was like, you'll lost a great experience, and If you don't i'll lose all respect for you. I couldn't deal with that so I did it! And I really wish that I could blame him for it but I know I can't. I can't blame anybody but myself, I'm just not good enough, and I never will be.
"Don't let the world bring you down,
not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
remember why you came and why you're alive, experience the warmth before you go"
Always,
Court
