Please don't leave me!
Hearing: Commercials on the radio.Wearing: Jeans and a red ribbed sweater
Feeling like: What can I do?
Thursday, Feb. 20, 2003
I have decided that while in high school one thinks that life is great and things are wondwerful. In college one thinks "High school sucked!" But after that I don't know what one thinks after college. Check for an update on that one in about five years! Why brought this on, you ask? My English prof asked us to think back to when we were in high school and finish the sentence "I remember. . ."I remember sinking to the floor. My lungs filled with cement, my head pounding, eyes burning, ears ringing. Luckily the room was empty so no one saw me break down. I pulled my knees to my chest and began rocking, tears streaming freely from my eyes. I hated my voice I never wanted to sing again. About then my director came into the room and found me. He asked if I was okay and I blamed him. I told him that he made me believe that I was good enough, he made me believe that I could do it. Because of him I thought I might make it. And I failed. I needed someone to blame. I yelled and screamed at him. He tried to hug me and I tried to punch him. He tried to calm me and I screamed at him. I hated him.
He asked if I was okay and I blamed him. I told him that he made me believe that I was good enough, he made me believe that I could do it. Because of him I thought I might make it. I don't know why I believed him, why I listened to every word he said. I always told him "When I grow up I want to be just like you, only me." Now, a couple years later I focus on the last two words "only me." I am only me, what can I do? I am a lost little girl with a pen, a notebook, and some music. What can I do?
