Please don't leave me!
Hearing:Wearing:
Feeling like:
Thursday, Jan. 10, 2002
Angel,It's funny that a span of time no longer than five minutes has just taken control of what I will be doing for the next two and a half months. I could be folding clothes at Kohl's, or I could be in the auditorium after school. Everyday. With Arch. Rehersing. I don't know if I want the lead in the musical or not. It seems like such a superficial thing, yet I'm actually worried.
I don't get people. Kyle has never once acted like he actually cared if I were his friend or not and as soon as he goes off to college and I don't say Hi to him once he thinks I'm mad at him. What I don't get is, if someone doesn't day hi to me or doesn't seem to want to talk I'll confront them right then and there. "Did I do anything to make you mad?" completly non-confrontational. When Kyle comes back to school Layne and Berna are on him so fast I don't have sime to get a word as small as hi in!
And that's another thing! The last tree days have been the best three days I've had this school year. Today wasn't so great. The only conclusion that I can come up with is that Berna was there. I feel like I'm living in her shadow. her personality and musical skills and everything overpowers me and when she's around I can't breathe! I don't know what happened! We used to be so close. I miss her. now she only wants to hang out with Layne and Tessa. She apoligized to me that she didn't call over break but she was really busy. Then her and Tessa went off talking about all the stuff they did over break. Sorry my ass. If she didn't want to hang out with me she didn't have to! why does this always happen to me? The only people that I feel are close friends are a four hour drive away! And now I feel like Techau's pulling away from me too! What's wrong with me? Why don't people like me?
Love, Court
