Please don't leave me!
Hearing: "Always"; SalivaWearing: same
Feeling like: Am I your one and only desire?
Tuesday, Mar. 25, 2003
You are so hot. I'm trying so hard to be a good girl but it's so hard when you are continuously flirting with me. And I get so mad because I just want you to do something about it. If you can read me so well then he should know that I'm not going to make the first move because I'm just too scared. I know that you know that I like you still and that I want something to happen. There's no way that you can look at me and not see that. I know you wants me too. The look in your eyes is all I need to confirm what people have been telling me all along. I'm so frusturated that you won't do anything and that I'm too chicken shit to. I'm silently screaming at you to take me and teach me everything that I need to know and you're not listening. If I scream anymore people will hear me and I don't want that. You don't want that either, I can see it. The tension is so thick when we are in a room together that I sometimes can't stand it. What's the point of flirting so much if you're not going to do anything? I'm sure it's fun for you, but it's tourture for me.Another thing, if you're as happily married as everyone seems to believe why do you flirt so much? Just don't! I can't take it anymore! I going to lose it! None of this is ever going to work out, you know. It's not possible. Why do I always want men like you? Men that are so out of my league. Men that are so far away. Men that are so unattainable. Why can't I want someone who is more my age? Why can't I stop liking you? Why can't I stop flirting with you? Why can't I keep myself from smiling whenever you say something to me? It's not fair, you know. It's not fair to you or to me. It's just not. . . And why do we always end up at the same places? I go to the office to see Miss S and Super Girl and there you are. I'm going to class or the locker and you're in the hallway. I shouldn't think anything of it because it's a small building and you work there, but I can't help thinking that there's more than coincidence there. I don't want to think this way. None of this is for you, you know that right?