mind the gap

Please don't leave me!

Hearing: The office sounds.
Wearing: Black sweater and jeans (big surprise)
Feeling like: Crying

Wednesday, Jan. 26, 2005

That last entry where I said I was doing better? Yeah, scratch that. I was on seven weeks, no knives. Yesterday I got an e-mail from Gail asking what she did wrong and if there was anything she had done to hurt me. So last night I'm laying in bed trying to figure out where I went wrong. Where I went wrong with Nieve, Sara and Gail. Why can't I keep friends? Why does something always happen to pull us apart? Is it me? It has to be. I put in a movie to take my mind off things and one of the songs reminded me of Will. There it was sitting in the cup I had thrown a bunch of crap in when I moved. I was thinking about how shitty I felt about hurting my girls and making them feel like I didn't want them around. So I did it. The same as always. Three paraelle cuts on my left thigh. They were too deep this time. Bled for almost forty-five minutes. What's wrong with me?

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mind the gap