mind the gap

Please don't leave me!

Hearing: "Song for the lonely" Cher
Wearing: Black polo and jeans
Feeling like: Taking a nap

Monday, Jan. 24, 2005

Well, my web whore-ness won't let me stay away. Though I have to warn you, this page won't be very in-depth at all. This page has gotten me in trouble too many times. I won't apologize for that, but that's the way it's going to be here!
For those of you who don't know, I'm doing much better. I was genuinely happy today for a while. Then I stopped by the office to see Bobbi and Nev was there. I guess that group of people is feeling like I've abandon them. I never know when they're doing anything, and I'm not invited to things, so I just assumed they were doing things without me. That's fine I have other firends, but Nev posted in her diary the other day that they're all really hurt. Her and Sara told me last semester that they were both going to be really busy this semester and that's why I couldn't movie in with them. I took that as "Hey Court, we love you but we really don't have time for you next year." I was hoping Nev was working so we could set up a time to figure everything out but when I talked to her all she kept saying was "I have no free time."
I don't know what to do I miss them like crazy but I feel like they really don't want me in their lives. Part of the reason I pulled away is because I thought that's what they wanted, and partly because they remind me of Will and I'm not totally over that yet. I'm doing the best I can, but I guess that's just not good enough. I feel really bad for hurting all of them, but I feel like Nev's the only one making an effort and now that I've reciprocated I feel like she's retracted that.
I really let him fuck up my life didn't I? I don't know if I can keep updating here.

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mind the gap