mind the gap

Please don't leave me!

Hearing: Black AE tee over pink long sleeved gap tee and gap cords with pink shoes!
Wearing: bookends
Feeling like: Twelve p.m. and my dusty telephone rings, Heavy head up from my pillow, who could it be? I hope it's you.

Monday, Dec. 06, 2004

I have to have a rant session: Why is it okay for Will to blow me off on numerous occasions and it's not okay for me to just say "Hey, good job!" and keep walking. Don't you get it? I still have really, really strong feelings for you? So if your hanging all over your precious Jessi, don't be offended if I don't rush over to shower you with affection and love! I'm sorry, but you've got to understand that I'm still hurting. And if you didn't still care about me, this wouldn't be an issue. Everybody's been telling me to suck it up and get over you, but I'm not going to tell you to get over Erica. I'm going to tell you to stop using other girls to make yourself feel desired. Stop treating my friends like shit and remember that if it wasn't for me you wouldn't even be living with them. Stop and think for just a second and look at how good you've got it and remember that not everyone is as lucky as you!
I'm so sick of this. Crystal finally told me that it was okay to still be hurting and still be feeling shitty. But I don't feel like anyone else understands. They all keep telling me to just get over it but it's not that easy. It's nice to have someone who understands. Saturday night I climbed into Corrine's lap and cried for about forty-five minutes about how much I still love him and how much I miss him. I felt really bad because her friend Matt was there, but c'est la vie. He told me the worst part of a break up is constantly wondering what you did wrong. And that brought a fresh surge of tears, because I still don't know what I did! He says nothing, but there has to be something. Crystal said it sounds to her like he started to develop serious feelings for me and got scared. It's a nice thought. . .

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mind the gap