mind the gap

Please don't leave me!

Hearing: Pink AE tee and jeans
Wearing: Nothin at the moment
Feeling like: There has to be somewhere where we can be far away, we have to escape.

Thursday, Oct. 21, 2004

Home. I never thought I'd be so happy to get away from A-town. Tuesday night W had J over again and they were getting all cuddly on the couch and I was pretty sure I could handle it, but I guess not! Whoops. So I went over to C's and stayed there until about five on Wendesday morning. W doesn't believe me, I'm sure, but we talked for six hours straight. He always makes me feel better. Gs starting to hook up with the Chizad and I know it won't be long before N and I are sitting around being the lonely spinsters. And just when I get used to that situation again, I'm sure she'll find someone. I can feel it coming.
Like winter. I can feel it coming. Ah winter, where I can hide beneath sweaters and scarves and hats. I love winter. I love that this winter brings so much promise. W is leaving, so maybe I can finally move on. I can start a fresh semester and really kick some ass. This is the first year where I'm really looking to start fresh. Totally clean.
You know how about this time I get into the "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't anybody want me?" phase. Right now looking at it, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fucking fantastic, there's something wrong with them. All of them. If they can't see that, but I can see it, my family can see it, my friends can see it they're just fucking stupid. One day I'm going to laugh because they're all going to wake up and realize what they could have had and I'm going to laugh until I pee my pants. It's gonna RULE!
The phrase "I want to get out of here!" Keeps running through my mind. But I'm home now? When I'm down in A-town the same thing happens. Hmm. . . I need clean panties. No! Not because of that! I need to do laundry!
"Es-cap-e. Funny it's spelled just like Escape! You can read? I can read? I can read!!"

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mind the gap