mind the gap

Please don't leave me!

Hearing: black tee and hoodie and jeans
Wearing: Why girls are Weird
Feeling like: I'm in love and always will be

Friday, Oct. 15, 2004

Yesterday was bad, I mean really bad. I woke up and all I wanted was to go back to sleep and stay in bed for the rest of my life. On the plus side it was the first day in a long time that I had absolutely no contact with W. I told N yesterday that I miss him. I know we can't go back to the way things were but I really do miss him. We used to sit and talk for hours and hours and we weren't flirting or anything, just talking. Now he doesn't talk to me unless he needs something. Do you have any idea how hard it is to love someone so much and feel like they don't give a damn whether you live or die?
On a happier note. . . we're doing Pirate Shots tonight. St got this shot glass with four different levels of shots on it (I don't remember all of them, but it's something like, something, buckeneer, swashbuckeler, and pirate. A pirate shot is 8oz of alcohol! Crazy! I refuse to drink tonight. I think it's almost more fun to watch people get really drunk than to be drunk. Plus, I'd probably start staggering around the room telling people I loved them. It could go like this:
C: I love you man!
ST: I love you C dawg!
S: You guys!
C: I love you too S! And N, you're my por vida loco vata. I didn't say that right did I? It's because I'm drunk! But I love you too!!
N: I love you, just stop drinking, you're making as ass of yourself!
C: I'm not done yet! G!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! You're my mister from another sister. Wait. . . ::giggles::
G: I love you too, C!
W: ::rolls eyes:: I love you.
C: No, W, I really love you! I do!
W: ::walks away::
C: ::begins to cry:: He doesn't love me, or even care! It's because I'm ugly! If I was pretty he'd love me! I should have never done anything with him. I'm a slut!
And I'd carry on and on for about an hour or so and wake up in the morning horrified! So I think I'll skip the drink tonight. That and the last time I was truly drunk around him I started putting bobby pins down his pants and telling him I'd go after them with my teeth. Yeah, that was a bad night. That was even back before anything had happened. Anyhow! Now that you've all had a glimpse into my drunken stupor . . .

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mind the gap